You know sometime how you just wish that your thoughts, your dreams would just turn into reality, and have that instead of the empty world you're living right now? It feels so comforting, to think that everything that you wanted, right at the palm of your hands. If only our wishes would have at least a  90% chance of coming true, nobody would cry, either at the death of a dream or in just lamenting the distance between your dream and yourself. Sometimes, that's the thing that bites. When you feel like you still need to swim 1000 leagues under the sea just to reach that thing that you've chased all your life. Waiting and working hard for it is not a big deal, but the thought that you might not make it or something might happen otherwise makes it all the more harder. 

It's just sad, because some us, we don't even wish for great things. Others just wanted their parents home for Christmas. Some for a proper education for their children. Good grades, to be noticed, to matter. They're so simple. I doubt it if people would even mind if these things happened to a person's life. But it figures a lot to the person. Have you ever had that wish that you wanted to come true so much that it never fails to pop out of your head everyday? But somehow, the more simple they are, the harder it is to get since they don't normally involve money (and money does a lot, mind you) and are more about a person's ideals and pretty much that make up his identity. Because really, it's our aspirations and dreams that defines us. And more often than not, it gives us the direction that we need. 

But I feel so far away from mine. It's not that I've stopped hoping and trying. But right now, I can't really do anything more. All I can do is stand here and pray for it. Plead for it. That somehow, somewhere, somebody would hear me out and help me achieve it. It isn't even much. I'm just so exasperated right now, with many what ifs circling my mind.You don't how much I wanted to jump into my parallel fantasy world right now where the things that's gone wrong in my life suddenly rights itself once more. Where my what ifs are what's real and I really couldn't ask for anything better anymore. I think all of us has our own life mapped out already. Of course, our faith encourages us to trust in God's divine plan for us, having our purpose in subordination but nevertheless, we still have that train of thought leading us to our targeted lives. 

I'm babbling nonsense again. And personally, I have to admit that my writing tempo is off-key nowadays. I don't even get the natural prickles that I used to get to write something up. My imagination is like, shut down interminably and I don't know what to do to get it back running. My writing cogs are stuck in a spun of spiderwebs and it's making me feel more inferior than ever. Just another sharp pain to my accumulating list of depression triggering thoughts. Please, no more.

You know sometime how you just wish that your thoughts, your dreams would just turn into reality, and have that instead of the empty world you're living right now? It feels so comforting, to think that everything that you wanted, right at the palm of your hands. If only our wishes would have at least a  90% chance of coming true, nobody would cry, either at the death of a dream or in just lamenting the distance between your dream and yourself. Sometimes, that's the thing that bites. When you feel like you still need to swim 1000 leagues under the sea just to reach that thing that you've chased all your life. Waiting and working hard for it is not a big deal, but the thought that you might not make it or something might happen otherwise makes it all the more harder. 

It's just sad, because some us, we don't even wish for great things. Others just wanted their parents home for Christmas. Some for a proper education for their children. Good grades, to be noticed, to matter. They're so simple. I doubt it if people would even mind if these things happened to a person's life. But it figures a lot to the person. Have you ever had that wish that you wanted to come true so much that it never fails to pop out of your head everyday? But somehow, the more simple they are, the harder it is to get since they don't normally involve money (and money does a lot, mind you) and are more about a person's ideals and pretty much that make up his identity. Because really, it's our aspirations and dreams that defines us. And more often than not, it gives us the direction that we need. 

But I feel so far away from mine. It's not that I've stopped hoping and trying. But right now, I can't really do anything more. All I can do is stand here and pray for it. Plead for it. That somehow, somewhere, somebody would hear me out and help me achieve it. It isn't even much. I'm just so exasperated right now, with many what ifs circling my mind.You don't how much I wanted to jump into my parallel fantasy world right now where the things that's gone wrong in my life suddenly rights itself once more. Where my what ifs are what's real and I really couldn't ask for anything better anymore. I think all of us has our own life mapped out already. Of course, our faith encourages us to trust in God's divine plan for us, having our purpose in subordination but nevertheless, we still have that train of thought leading us to our targeted lives. 

I'm babbling nonsense again. And personally, I have to admit that my writing tempo is off-key nowadays. I don't even get the natural prickles that I used to get to write something up. My imagination is like, shut down interminably and I don't know what to do to get it back running. My writing cogs are stuck in a spun of spiderwebs and it's making me feel more inferior than ever. Just another sharp pain to my accumulating list of depression triggering thoughts. Please, no more.