Mr. Simple
Thursday, August 25, 20118:28 PM
Oh wait. I forgot I already have a husband. HAHAHAHHA. That's like the overstatement of the year. Of course I don't but you see, I'm kinda committed to this guy:
and I'm very much in love with him. LOL. He's from Korea and he promised me that after his contract with SM Entertainment and wrapping up his duty in Super Junior and his other dramas, including his military service, he's going to marry me. We're engaged you know. :))
So that just means that my "crush" is irrelevant. I should get over it. There's too much at stake. One of my friendships, my sanity, and I'm pretty sure it will not end up good. After all, my crush's personality is a bit doubting. Maybe its better if I just wipe my brain of all traces of him. That way, I won't get hurt, I won't assume, and I'd go back to being emotionally unattached and ready to mingle! :)
Labels: choi siwon, compensation, moving on, super junior m
Reasons Why I Chose To Go
Friday, April 8, 20118:24 PM
I feel like shit now so naturally, I'll find a place to rant once again. Ironic is it that I'm feeling like this because of the same thing that made brought me pain, failure, and disappointment only last summer. Once again, they managed to make me feel like this again. Haven't they had enough last time? Does the tears and sleepless nights I've spent not enough punishment? And isn't it a little bit unfair that other people don't even try and they get the parts that they want? And believe me, I've hoped and wished and believed, and yet that just doesn't seem enough for everybody. I don't know if they just misunderstand or something, but at times, it can really insult and hurt somebody without them ever knowing it. Funny, you know last year's summer, I was going through the same thing as now, same reasons, same heartaches (because of those heartless literary-inclined people) and same disappointments.
Not to mention same blog to let my emotions explode. Only difference would be shedding tears. I've had enough of that. Plus, I'm no longer affiliated with them anyway. I cut the line, and I really think so now that I've done what's right. During the last day of our club meeting, I had second thoughts of quitting even after I've already informed my club adviser that I'm done with the club. I'm supposed to be given a position for next school year (OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THEY FINALLY GAVE ME WHAT I SO PAINFULLY ASKED OF THEM A YEAR BEFORE AND INADVERTENTLY DENIED ME) as something rather than the nothing they gave me last year. I'm supposed to be happy right? Because finally, I'm worthy enough to be given a position in that damn paper.
But I've had enough. I was brave enough to face that something was wrong with the organization rooting into something the members don't see at all. I want to change but I think I'm not the person to get in the mess. Plus, people change and you don't always have the opportunity to something after the first time it comes. All I'm saying is, no matter what happens in my extra curricular next year, I'm fine with it. I won't have any regrets. Whether or not I get the position I applied for in another club, I'm going to be fine. After all, high school doesn't measure the true worth of a person. There would be many opportunities to come, more people to meet; people that would mean all the world and not all of it, people to love, who will understand... And this could serve as a learning experience. Not something I will eventually regret.
I mean, would you still stick up for something you've loved and yet turned its back on you the first time? And at a second time, after you've given another chance, turned its behind on you once again? Isn't that too much? And I'm not even having a great time with them. I feel like everything is a scam with them, and they're all bitchy plastics that tell you you're great and you write really well, when in fact, they pressure you to do things that you're having a hard time doing and tell you can actually achieve big things and yet deprive you of those things for their own folly. I love writing. Even if I don't write in diaries anymore (Because I don't keep with it when the busy days come and I just end up neglecting it and making me feel bad about it. Let's just forget the Princess Diaries fantasy.) I'm still finding time to write in this blogosphere and updating my life traces once in a while.
After all, its easier to type than to write, though when you do take the time to use a pen, it improves your penmanship much better. God, I miss writing the traditional way. The summer ahead is pretty long, so maybe I'd find some time to write then. Hah! And start the umpteenth diary of the century. Kay, back to the topic at hand.
But when I write for them, I lose all the inspiration and the magic writing is supposed to have for me. Maybe I'm just not meant for news correspondence type of topics? But, come on, its the school newspaper. There's a reason why the call it a NEWSpaper. Geddit? Hmm... but if they started a school blog online or something like Gossip Girl, maybe I can once again work for them and be their resident opinion editor, if such a position existed. Now that would totally be epic. I won't have a hard time at all. You know, when you do something you truly love, don't you feel that it really has to come from your heart? That you're really not forced to do this but you love every aspect of it that even if it gets tough, you'll find something to hold on to? I want that, but it's just not present this time. I hope you guys understand my point. :)
Not to mention same blog to let my emotions explode. Only difference would be shedding tears. I've had enough of that. Plus, I'm no longer affiliated with them anyway. I cut the line, and I really think so now that I've done what's right. During the last day of our club meeting, I had second thoughts of quitting even after I've already informed my club adviser that I'm done with the club. I'm supposed to be given a position for next school year (OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THEY FINALLY GAVE ME WHAT I SO PAINFULLY ASKED OF THEM A YEAR BEFORE AND INADVERTENTLY DENIED ME) as something rather than the nothing they gave me last year. I'm supposed to be happy right? Because finally, I'm worthy enough to be given a position in that damn paper.
But I've had enough. I was brave enough to face that something was wrong with the organization rooting into something the members don't see at all. I want to change but I think I'm not the person to get in the mess. Plus, people change and you don't always have the opportunity to something after the first time it comes. All I'm saying is, no matter what happens in my extra curricular next year, I'm fine with it. I won't have any regrets. Whether or not I get the position I applied for in another club, I'm going to be fine. After all, high school doesn't measure the true worth of a person. There would be many opportunities to come, more people to meet; people that would mean all the world and not all of it, people to love, who will understand... And this could serve as a learning experience. Not something I will eventually regret.
I mean, would you still stick up for something you've loved and yet turned its back on you the first time? And at a second time, after you've given another chance, turned its behind on you once again? Isn't that too much? And I'm not even having a great time with them. I feel like everything is a scam with them, and they're all bitchy plastics that tell you you're great and you write really well, when in fact, they pressure you to do things that you're having a hard time doing and tell you can actually achieve big things and yet deprive you of those things for their own folly. I love writing. Even if I don't write in diaries anymore (Because I don't keep with it when the busy days come and I just end up neglecting it and making me feel bad about it. Let's just forget the Princess Diaries fantasy.) I'm still finding time to write in this blogosphere and updating my life traces once in a while.
After all, its easier to type than to write, though when you do take the time to use a pen, it improves your penmanship much better. God, I miss writing the traditional way. The summer ahead is pretty long, so maybe I'd find some time to write then. Hah! And start the umpteenth diary of the century. Kay, back to the topic at hand.
But when I write for them, I lose all the inspiration and the magic writing is supposed to have for me. Maybe I'm just not meant for news correspondence type of topics? But, come on, its the school newspaper. There's a reason why the call it a NEWSpaper. Geddit? Hmm... but if they started a school blog online or something like Gossip Girl, maybe I can once again work for them and be their resident opinion editor, if such a position existed. Now that would totally be epic. I won't have a hard time at all. You know, when you do something you truly love, don't you feel that it really has to come from your heart? That you're really not forced to do this but you love every aspect of it that even if it gets tough, you'll find something to hold on to? I want that, but it's just not present this time. I hope you guys understand my point. :)
Labels: hate it, i'm fine, moving on, thank you
Miracles Happen Upon Believing
Monday, July 19, 20109:27 PM
NOTE (before you start thinking that this is another of my long and boring posts that talks of nothing but my own silliness and are rather, direct proofs of my severe brain malfunction):
This post merely contains a few pictures I gathered from a bunch of Tumblr accounts awhile ago. They are the illustrative interpretations I've decided to use in order to convey my utmost feelings these last few days, especially my triumph over some things. I guess you would really feel the satisfaction and accomplishment once you were able to survive something that you thought you would never be able to pass through and yet you know within yourself that you absolutely deserve it. I have come to realize that things do happen for a reason and during times when it's not that clear to you, the best thing to do is to trust the Father and think of it as trial that will come to pass. We are given obstacles in our lives that would strengthen us more and to even make us into better individuals for the future. Only when you know that you have given your all to something and has tried every possible thing to save it, will you come upon genuine happiness and fulfillment.
credit to: foreverisjustaword.tumblr
credit to: foreverisjustaword.tumblrThings That I Have Learned:
1. The fact that your in love with love doesn't really help you with anything. It's a natural tendency to wonder if something is really wrong with you especially if everyone is falling into relationships here and there and you're the only one who doesn't have an escort to parade around with. But the truth is, maybe, it's just not your time. This may seem useless when you're already in a dark abyss dealing with a bad case of inferiority complex, but when you think about it logically, that's just the only solution you'd come up with it. It's better if you'd just accept the hard cold truth earlier on.
2. You'll come upon the answer on the time that you stopped asking why.
I recall hearing this from the math teacher of my soul sister. It's really really good and inspiring. And maybe, its really what God is telling me all along. Yesterday, during mass, when I just finished swallowing the Holy Bread, the choir sang this particular song; I'm not that sure on what exactly is the title, but it goes on like this:
2. You'll come upon the answer on the time that you stopped asking why.
I recall hearing this from the math teacher of my soul sister. It's really really good and inspiring. And maybe, its really what God is telling me all along. Yesterday, during mass, when I just finished swallowing the Holy Bread, the choir sang this particular song; I'm not that sure on what exactly is the title, but it goes on like this:
"For love is the answer to so many questions
Now I know, and I can stop my endless wandring
Love gives the meaning to my world
I see the answer now."
3. There is no such thing as selfish love in LOVE. There is only letting go.
When you come to realize that that someone really isn't for you and that he or she is really happy with someone else, maybe you should do just help yourself and stop the hurting by letting that person go and being happy for him or her. After all, it might hurt a lot at first, but when time passes and everything heals, you would just find yourself looking back on it and you wouldn't help but smile on your accomplishment. In the end, you were able to love unselfishly by letting that person go.
credit to: foreverisjustaword.tumblr
Hopefully, this stays the same.
Bye for now,
Blessie
P.S
Now I know, and I can stop my endless wandring
Love gives the meaning to my world
I see the answer now."
3. There is no such thing as selfish love in LOVE. There is only letting go.
When you come to realize that that someone really isn't for you and that he or she is really happy with someone else, maybe you should do just help yourself and stop the hurting by letting that person go and being happy for him or her. After all, it might hurt a lot at first, but when time passes and everything heals, you would just find yourself looking back on it and you wouldn't help but smile on your accomplishment. In the end, you were able to love unselfishly by letting that person go.
credit to: foreverisjustaword.tumblr
Hopefully, this stays the same.
Bye for now,
Blessie
P.S
Oh yeah, wait. Allow me to give my credits to "foreverisjustaword.tumblr". I'm sorry but I don't know her full name, I'm such a moron. And no, I don't know her either since she's from tumblr world. God, I say it as if I hate tumblr. Well, I don't. It's just that I don't really appreciate it that much since it's more of a visual blog really. And I'm eternally lazy to edit things either in Photoshop or any photo editing program. It irritates me, mainly because I'm a perfectionist and I hate it when something goes wrong. Well, anyway, the point is, I gave credit to her for providing the quote. I just read it from her tumblr site. The pictures that contains the quotes and all the edits are mine for the making. It's all her quotes though.
Hm... come to think of it, I might at least make up for a good visual blogger... but nah. I don't want to.
Hm... come to think of it, I might at least make up for a good visual blogger... but nah. I don't want to.
Labels: eternal, moving on, random, serenity
