I had an internal dispute with a friend because it turns out we like the same guy. I said it's fine by me, but its obviously not. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and I'm thinking that I deserve this this time around. But someone sharing it with me... Woah. Would you like to share kidneys as well? Oh, that's way over the belt. Plus this thinking has got to go. The whole crush thing isn't worth the friendship. And she stated that she wasn't really serious about it (and what, I am?) and I said she could have him. I said this while sitting on his chair. I was clearly dying inside. But as I said we're fourth years. We're freaking mature, fer cryin out lou'! 

I do admit I was robbed of my strength after the shocking revelation and maybe ranted a little bit about it but I'll keep it at that. As I'm not comfortable with the whole I-like-him-too aspect, I'm just going to avoid the subject. Or maybe I can try my hand on avoiding the ROOT of subject too. It'd drive me crazy, but it's fine if it'd help me forget about the drama. And anyway, there's my faith. My heart and mind believes that if this is really meant to be, graces would come to me and I shouldn't have to chase it. If it's meant for me, it will be mine. I don't have the right to claim anything or anyone that isn't mine. That's logical enough for me.

And it's totally unfair to my friend. She doesn't have any fault on this; after all, she liked him first. My feelings just grew out of proportion and one day it all became different. I'm still thankful that I'm experiencing all this confusion and gut wrenching indignation and disappointment. Because without this, I wouldn't have fallen apart. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have had this emotionally touching dinner with my best friend. I just love her. She supports me in everything. After all it's all her fault it became like this. So blame her. 

Hahaha. I decided I'm just going to go on living, being a good friend to my friend who also likes my crush, and... be the same as well to my crush. I'm just going to be a helpful classmate to him. Nothing will change and we'd all graduate. It will be as if nothing happened. I'm getting good at all of this sacrifice thing. My friend can have him because I'm such a nice person. LOL. Anyway, I still have my best friend so no loss there. But I'm not saying I give up on him. There might still be some hope. Ah... what an epic day. 

And oh yeah, oh yeah. Congratulations to our best debater, ACE VER VARGAS! He owned the stage awhile ago and was skillful enough to bag 3rd place. Party party. And guess what, I also got over him already. As in I felt nothing. Which is a cause for celebration. Finally. Success!

I had an internal dispute with a friend because it turns out we like the same guy. I said it's fine by me, but its obviously not. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and I'm thinking that I deserve this this time around. But someone sharing it with me... Woah. Would you like to share kidneys as well? Oh, that's way over the belt. Plus this thinking has got to go. The whole crush thing isn't worth the friendship. And she stated that she wasn't really serious about it (and what, I am?) and I said she could have him. I said this while sitting on his chair. I was clearly dying inside. But as I said we're fourth years. We're freaking mature, fer cryin out lou'! 

I do admit I was robbed of my strength after the shocking revelation and maybe ranted a little bit about it but I'll keep it at that. As I'm not comfortable with the whole I-like-him-too aspect, I'm just going to avoid the subject. Or maybe I can try my hand on avoiding the ROOT of subject too. It'd drive me crazy, but it's fine if it'd help me forget about the drama. And anyway, there's my faith. My heart and mind believes that if this is really meant to be, graces would come to me and I shouldn't have to chase it. If it's meant for me, it will be mine. I don't have the right to claim anything or anyone that isn't mine. That's logical enough for me.

And it's totally unfair to my friend. She doesn't have any fault on this; after all, she liked him first. My feelings just grew out of proportion and one day it all became different. I'm still thankful that I'm experiencing all this confusion and gut wrenching indignation and disappointment. Because without this, I wouldn't have fallen apart. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have had this emotionally touching dinner with my best friend. I just love her. She supports me in everything. After all it's all her fault it became like this. So blame her. 

Hahaha. I decided I'm just going to go on living, being a good friend to my friend who also likes my crush, and... be the same as well to my crush. I'm just going to be a helpful classmate to him. Nothing will change and we'd all graduate. It will be as if nothing happened. I'm getting good at all of this sacrifice thing. My friend can have him because I'm such a nice person. LOL. Anyway, I still have my best friend so no loss there. But I'm not saying I give up on him. There might still be some hope. Ah... what an epic day. 

And oh yeah, oh yeah. Congratulations to our best debater, ACE VER VARGAS! He owned the stage awhile ago and was skillful enough to bag 3rd place. Party party. And guess what, I also got over him already. As in I felt nothing. Which is a cause for celebration. Finally. Success!