how hard can it be... when you have so much mixed feelings that you have no idea at all which one you should acknowledge. whether it be the sad ones, the uplifting ones... for me, now... it's like that.

in a way, i want to cry for certain reasons... yet all i can do to portray feelings would be to act like a ba-ka otaku, yelling WAAHH!!! huhuhuhu to nobody in particular. it's quite depressing ne~...

i sometimes wonder why my life just can't fit in in that of a manga story... living life realistically is just too troublesome. it's tiring.

especially when you don't have any reasurrance or something to go back to to make you safe at all... it's like an empty world where you're present... just drifting in a mess of it all. where you don't know where to place yourself... continuously feeling left out and indifferent.

the important things so far ahead that reaching it might not yet be a possibility in the mean time. the future that seems so obscure... when nobody knows what will eventually happen.

nostalgia... melancholy... i don't care at all if these things would leave at once... immediately. in fact, i wouldn't hate it much if i don't feel such feelings at all. if it would just make me sad in random moments, leaving me at a loss everytime it hits... i don't want it at all.

i just want... to live a happy life where i could easily depend on someone. someone i can see far in the distance, yet with the knowledge that i can reach him at some point. at some point... i can... reach him.

how hard can it be... when you have so much mixed feelings that you have no idea at all which one you should acknowledge. whether it be the sad ones, the uplifting ones... for me, now... it's like that.

in a way, i want to cry for certain reasons... yet all i can do to portray feelings would be to act like a ba-ka otaku, yelling WAAHH!!! huhuhuhu to nobody in particular. it's quite depressing ne~...

i sometimes wonder why my life just can't fit in in that of a manga story... living life realistically is just too troublesome. it's tiring.

especially when you don't have any reasurrance or something to go back to to make you safe at all... it's like an empty world where you're present... just drifting in a mess of it all. where you don't know where to place yourself... continuously feeling left out and indifferent.

the important things so far ahead that reaching it might not yet be a possibility in the mean time. the future that seems so obscure... when nobody knows what will eventually happen.

nostalgia... melancholy... i don't care at all if these things would leave at once... immediately. in fact, i wouldn't hate it much if i don't feel such feelings at all. if it would just make me sad in random moments, leaving me at a loss everytime it hits... i don't want it at all.

i just want... to live a happy life where i could easily depend on someone. someone i can see far in the distance, yet with the knowledge that i can reach him at some point. at some point... i can... reach him.